This sounds like you need to go and have a good in-depth consultation with a confident colour specialist. From the information you gave me I am going to presume that there is a miscommunication between you and your current hairdresser, so I would recommend getting another opinion.
My top tip for when going to talk to someone about your hair is go armed with pictures, not just from hairdressing magazines but from anywhere that you see someone with the colour that you would love. It is also helpful to take along some images of what you don't like.
It maybe that you are reaching for the unobtainable and a good colourist will manage your expectations to something more realistic.